Writing Is About Discovery
It is time to look beyond the self
Writing is painful. Not the physical act of writing. That, I enjoy. It is the undercurrent, the subterranean vein within all creators that bleeds with uncertainty every time we put ourselves out into the world to be viewed.
I am not alone. I know artists, and they, too, tell me that they experience a dramatic emotional drop after they have put on a show or published a book. Sure, there is a lot of praise at the moment, and we will hear words like, “Your work is gorgeous!” “You are talented.” “You have given me so much to think about.” “I look forward to reading your book.” “Oh, that reminds me, now that I see you, where can I pick up a copy of your book.” “That’s so impressive.” “Congratulations.” “How are your sales?”
It's fascinating how deflective people have become. I am guilty of it too. Of niceties. And you know what? Niceties can hurt. We mean well by them. I know I did. Or do. Or thought I was saying the right thing to a creative soul when I complimented them, but I am learning about the hidden vein. I am discovering that I have one too.
The hidden vein is the small but powerful thread within us all that wants to be loved. It is the part that craves approval. We all have this vein. Creatives are not the only ones subjected to this pain. It courses through us all. The uncertainty. The mirage. The hope.
I am not a morose person. I am very happy, for the most part, and can toss aside the feeling of being under-appreciated as a sign that I’m being too hard on myself. That there are plenty of people interested in me. Ha! I'm not narcissistic by nature, but maybe I am! Are we all? Because we’re looking to be valued? No. I don’t think it's narcissism, but rather a desire to be heard. And this demanding desire is pushing us to the exhaustion point.
We’re destroying ourselves in this over-arching quest to be heard. We have to stop this or we will self-destruct. I mean it. I see it all across social media. It is this compelling need to be heard, to be seen, to be valued, to be loved, to be counted. I feel terrible. For you. For me. I feel trapped by this feeling when I should feel joy that I have published a book, one that I am so damn proud of. But I have a vein of need and it is throbbing.
We have to stop this need to be valued by the number of likes we receive, the number of views, and the number of sales. It has to stop! I hurt for the world. Our emotional bodies crave a rest. Let's build a creative pasture where what we do can be shared and viewed as a contribution.
Life isn’t a competition, but we’ve gone and made it one.
I have a bit of advice for myself. For us all. Life is going to take us along on this conveyor belt. It's what we’ve created. To participate, I have to ride on this conveyor belt where what I do is counted against the rest of the world. I know this. I can’t step off the belt or I’ll step away from a career I have chosen.
Instead of fretting about who is seeing me, who is valuing me, who is loving me, I think I have to turn it all around and ask myself. Who am I loving? Who am I valuing? Who am I looking after? Who am I lifting in their time of need?
This is what the world needs.
